I Swear You Will Be Fine

Taking care of someone in grief: The power of simply being there. 

This blog post is a gentle reminder that supporting someone in grief isn’t about fixing their pain or offering perfect advice—it’s about being there, listening without judgment, and letting them know they’re not alone. You don’t need special training or expertise to make an impact; your kindness, patience, and willingness to sit with them in their sorrow are enough.  

Emotional Support 

As Asians, we may often feel compelled to offer a solution, or even probe for more information as a mean of understanding. Doing so may unintentionally create more pressure for those in grief. Know that it is usually enough to just listen, acknowledge and be patient.  

• Listen Actively: Offer a listening ear without judgment or interruption. Allow them to express their feelings freely, whether through crying, anger, or silence.  
• Validate Their Emotions: Let them know their feelings are normal and acceptable. Avoid minimizing their loss or offering unsolicited advice.  
• Be Present: Simply being there—whether in silence or conversation—can provide comfort and reassurance. 

Practical Assistance 

While professional support is often times available to bereaved families immediately after loss of a loved one to suicide, the hours, days and weeks to follow can be equally daunting and draining. If you do not feel comfortable to reach out and provide physical assistance, reach out and ask if they are okay with your support.  

• Help with Daily Tasks: Offer to prepare meals, clean the house, run errands, or assist with childcare. These small acts can ease their burden and allow them to focus on healing. 
• Support Funeral Arrangements: Help with logistical tasks related to memorial services if needed. 

Encourage Self-Care 

Self-care is important, and providing space for those in grief to find their own pace and new normality is important. Let them know that taking care of themselves is important, even as you are able to support them when they need it. 

• Suggest self-care: Suggest activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as gentle exercise, journaling, or engaging in hobbies. Encourage professional counseling if necessary. (see our post on Taking Care of Yourself) 

Respect Their Process 

Grief takes time and healing too. What may work for you may not work for others. Sharing experiences may be a way to try and put yourself in their shoes, but it is always better to remember that everyone grieves differently.  

• Honor Individual Grieving Styles: Everyone grieves differently; avoid pressuring them to “move on” or comparing their grief to others. 
• Respect Boundaries: Allow them space when needed but remain accessible for support when they are ready. 

Foster Connection 

One of Josh’s family’s daily routine is to keep fresh flowers and a candle burning for him in their homes, and for us friends, sometimes we would reply in his voice during one of our many conversations. We would share things that we see, hear, taste, experience that Josh would’ve liked, and that helps us feel like he’s still part of our daily lives. Fostering connection doesn’t have to follow a set plan; follow what feels right and be non-apologetic about it. There is absolutely no shame in remembering someone through shared words and actions.  

• Join Support Groups: Encourage participation in grief support groups where they can share experiences with others who understand their pain. 
• Create Rituals or Keepsakes: Suggest creating memory boxes or writing letters to the deceased as a way of processing emotions. 

Practical Tips for Communication 

• Avoid Platitudes: Refrain from saying things like “It’s part of God’s plan,” as these can be hurtful. 
• Ask How You Can Help: Instead of making assumptions, ask what specific support they need. 

Grief isn’t something you fix – it is a deeply personal journey, and your presence, compassion, and willingness to help can make a significant difference in their healing process.

Helpful links:

Coping with Bereavement for Better Mental Wellness

Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving

Helping Someone Who is Grieving

How to Support Someone in Grief

Coping with the Loss of a Loved One