I Swear You Will Be Fine

On days we miss you more, we try all sorts of things – watch your videos, scroll through your photos. One thing I do is re-read our whatsapp chats. Sha helped to export my whole chat with you which started sometime in 2015 when you first got your phone. The chat is saved on most of my devices. I know Sha does this too, and Ammamma. Even some close friends recollect their last conversations with you, often looking at the last Whatsapp exchanges. And this somehow helps us.

One of our most recent chats last December is me asking you to buy me a chocolate sundae. You had gone off to walk Sha home, the gentleman you always were to her. And I was craving ice cream. I had texted you to buy me one from McDonalds on the way back and you happily agreed. Somehow when you called me to clarify what ice cream I wanted, I didn’t hear the phone and didn’t answer. So you decided to buy me a chocolate cone….

You later told me you had to run all the way home because it was melting. And despite this, by the time you got home, it was melting away and dripping all over your fingers. You were not very happy! But you were still so proud you got it to me, almost intact. It was so special and I enjoyed every bite of it.

When you were really little, one of the regular Friday night outings was getting ice cream from McDonalds and parking the car at Changi Coast to watch the planes land and take off. You would be happy doing this for ages, never wanting to go home.

In the last year, the Ninja Creami was being used at least twice a day to make your healthy protein ice cream. That would often be the highlight of your day, enjoying every bite of your healthy ice cream with your long handled teaspoons. You were even thrilled with the silly gift for your last birthday of the rose gold long handled teaspoons.

Those teaspoons sit untouched in the cutlery drawer. The Ninja Creami has not been used for a 113 days.

I haven’t been able to get ice cream at McDonalds since you left. It’s funny how I can sometimes do the big, difficult things, but not the small things like these.

Who would have ever thought that less than 2 weeks after you buying me that chocolate cone, you would not be here.

I hope you are enjoying ice creams of all the different flavours in heaven, your favourite cookies and cream, hazelnut gelato, the healthy protein ice creams you were eating at least twice a day, and even the weird flavours we talked about.

Missing you so much more today.

Love you darling,

Mum