I Swear You Will Be Fine

I was looking at some old photos and came across the one where you and your primary school friends competed for a drama competition. You must have been about 9 years old.

Drama was always something very close to your heart. It was what kept you going especially in the second half of secondary school. You would struggle to go to regular school, but if there was drama, you would put all your difficulties aside and somehow get there. And you led the team with a passion, despite how long and how gruelling the sessions were.

I don’t quite remember the story of the drama performed here. But I recall Ammamma painstakingly sewing the costume, and making it perfect (and professional). You were the main character. As usual, the whole family (grandparents included) attended the performance, which was held at another secondary school. I remember the performance being quite good. At the end of the performance, the judging panel got the small group of you boys together and asked some questions. That was one of the first times I saw you taking the lead and answering the questions flawlessly and confidently, while the rest of the team took a bit of a backseat. There was a question on what sort of preparation was done and how you all made the costumes. And you didn’t hesitate to answer….falsely……that you and your friends took the time to “make” the costume! One of the judges kept pressing on, trying to make you give. But you didn’t budge. Perhaps that’s why your team didn’t win. It was clear to anyone that an adult made the costume!

I remember thinking at the time that it was one of the first times I saw you bluffing. Mainly to win the competition, but still. And I also thought this was a survival technique in a way, and you shouldn’t be raised too gullibly. And you would do well in life. I don’t recall reprimanding you for lying, but I didn’t quite encourage it either.

This was also the Josh who didn’t care too much about not winning the competition. Back then, you were able to take everything in your stride. And didn’t need these moments to lift you up or survive. Despite not winning, we all enjoyed the day, especially you. And as always, we were super proud of you.

We are still super proud of you my darling.

Love Mum