I Swear You Will Be Fine

A while ago, I wrote about the invisible/red string theory – about how we believe that we are tied together by an unbreakable, invisible/red string that brings us together when the time is right. It’s like soulmates, really. Nothing can keep us apart for too long, and we will always find our way to each other. Over the months, we have found multiple “coincidences” that fueled this invisible/red string belief of ours. I thought it was time I listed them down to set them in stone.

The biggest “coincidence” is probably that we went to the same kindergarten. I remember taking the bus home with you one day, and we passed this beautifully large preschool. I turned to you and asked where you’d want our kids to go to school in the future. You always held a firm opinion about our children’s future schools – you wanted them to go to the same school you were so proud to attend – so I knew you’d probably have a preschool in mind. You thought for a while and said, “BK. Because my sister and I went there. My uncle too, actually. And it’s quite a good school.” I whipped my head around to look at you when you said that, and you went, “What? Yeah, I know my uncle went there too. The school’s been around for quite long.” I clarified that my shock wasn’t because your uncle went to the same preschool, but because I went to the same preschool as you. When I told you that, you were equally shocked. Back when I was a child, I wasn’t living as close to BK as I am now, so it really didn’t make much sense that I would go to that school. We then found out that we were both in the morning sessions at BK and would leave school at noon when our families picked us up. We didn’t eat any of the food there (our pickiness was probably innate), and I’m the same age as your sister – which meant we could have been in the same class. We got home and very excitedly asked your mum, but unfortunately, I was not in the same class as Jess. Still, what are the odds? That we went to the same preschool, probably sat together waiting for our families to pick us up every day, participated in the same concerts and graduations and celebrations in the same setting? I am quite certain that I could have been in the background of some of your photos and videos, and you could have been in mine (when I told my family about this, they also thought of looking through my old photos and videos to see if we could catch a glimpse of you and Jess).

And if that wasn’t enough to convince anyone that we were on the end of each other’s invisible/red string… Approximately two decades ago, my parents wanted to buy an apartment in the East. I was three years old and tagging along as they browsed potential apartments. Ultimately, they were torn between two condominiums – M and G. The only reason they bought a place at G instead of M was because they couldn’t get an apartment facing the sea at M. I think you can guess where this is going – M is the place you have been living at for the past two decades. If my parents had chosen M, I would have met you two decades ago, and we probably would have grown up together playing at the playgrounds where we now walk the dogs.

Although I ended up living at G instead of M for the next ten years of my life, I took art classes at the art school at M for several years. You must have been around five or six then, and I’m sure I must have bumped into you at least once as I was there every weekend. The string really didn’t try too hard to keep us apart.

After I moved out of G, I came to live on the street behind SC – which just so happens to be five minutes from your place and your grandparents’ place. I am right smack in the middle of both homes, which I now frequently visit. We joked about this too – how we live so close to each other, how convenient it was, how it had to be fate. You even said that we’d probably met long before we officially knew each other – at Macca’s, on the way to your grandparents’ place, at the malls our families would patronize weekly… For most of our lives, we were so near to each other (tell me this isn’t the invisible/red string, I dare you).

I also recently found out that my neighbor, just two houses down, was Jess’ classmate in school. And I took piano lessons at Y when I was younger, the same place Jess took hers, around the same time. Jess and I also briefly took ballet classes when we were little… again… around the same time. If we had been acquainted as children, maybe I would have met you earlier too.

And lastly, if life hadn’t put us on the paths it did, we would not have found J (the school we go to now), and I would not have met the love of my life. I thought about all the other paths I could have taken, the decisions I could have made or not made, and how different the trajectory of my life would have been. If I hadn’t taken a scholarship when I was younger, I might not have gone to J. If I went to a different secondary school, I might not have gone to J. If I had ended up living at M, I might not have gone to BK. The list goes on and on. And I am so, so thankful that everything happened the way it did. If I had done even one thing differently, I might not have ended up where I am right now – with you.

And I’m so grateful my life has turned out the way it is. I’m so glad that the hardships I faced led me to such greatness. If I could live this life over again, there’s not a single doubt in my mind that I will choose to go through every single thing exactly the same, if it means meeting you again. Even though we didn’t get the happy endings we wanted, we did get the happy endings we wanted. After a long time of being so near each other, we finally met, fell in love, and remained in love. Though I wish I’d met you sooner so we could have had more time together, I’m glad we met each other when we did (better late than never, right?). Maybe we were held apart until we were truly ready for each other. How nice… the way the universe works sometimes.

I will live on for you, until it is my time to see you again. You made my life, and my life will be your epilogue. I can’t wait to see you again. We have so many things on our to-do list – it’ll be you and me, and all the things we have to see. I love you more, always, and forever. This invisible/red string of ours is still connected, and will always be.

Love always,
Sha