For a few months now, I’ve been writing down every conversation and moment we shared, afraid that I might one day forget them. I still add to the long list from time to time, whenever I see something that brings back a memory of us. I wanted to pen down and share some of these memories to give everyone a little glimpse into our relationship. Many of these moments are small, but perfectly capture what we are like together and the fun we have. As emotionless as they may sound, as I, unfortunately, can’t describe every expression we had, we were 1000% laughing in all of them.
Context: We were running errands at a mall and walked into Bath & Body Works.
Sha holding two products: Hm, I can’t decide between these two. They both smell really sweet and are kind of similar? What do you think?
Josh: I don’t know it’s up to you! You’re the one using it.
Sha: Yes, but you’re the one beside me and you’re obviously gonna smell it a lot more. You choose!
Josh: I can’t pick they both smell good! Just choose one you like.
Sha: But I like both… I can’t pick. I’m quite bad at this.
Josh: Okay… Um… Maybe this one? (points to product A)
Sha: Hmm…
Josh after seeing me hesitate: …Now you’re gonna choose B after I said A, right?
Sha: Yes… But I’m not doing it on purpose! It just smells nicer now. I don’t know why!
Josh: I knew you’d pick the opposite. Take B. I might like it better.
Sha: Yay, okay! You know me sooo well. Thank you for helping me decide!
Josh shaking his head and smiling: It’s because you do this all the time. Give me a while, I might buy something too. Here, you can help me decide.
We were smiling and laughing during this interaction, and the lady assisting us was too as she watched our little back and forth. When I turned to her to tell her which product I was getting, she said, “You both are so cute!” – which brought a shy little smile to both our faces.
Context: We were walking around Toys “R” Us for fun and I see this puffer sling bag that looks quite gaudy. I like bags very much, and Josh has to hold me back sometimes.
Sha: OMG! Look at that, it’s so cute and it’s just the right size for my phone and maybe some cards or tissues! Should I get it?
Josh: Babe. Why. Do. You. Need. That. And it does NOT look cute.
Sha: What?! What do you mean?? It is cute! I can get a pink one (It did not look cute. It was hot pink. I was blinded by novelty.)
Josh: BABE. NO. You don’t need it, you have so many bags! How are you even gonna use all of them? Give me three reasons why you need it. Good reasons.
Sha: Okay fine. Reason 1, it’s cute. Reason 2, I don’t have a bag this size. Reason 3, I can carry it to your place or when we walk the boys?
Josh: You know I can counter all your reasons, right?
Sha: Yeah… but it’s so cute… no?
Josh hesitates for a second: No, but fine. Do you really want it? If you really want it, I’ll get it for you.
Sha: Nooo, it’s okay… You think I don’t need it?
Josh: I KNOW YOU DON’T NEED IT!
Sha: FINE, okay, you’re right… dang it.
We ended up leaving with nothing but cute memories. The next bag I bought is the one I currently use for school. Josh sat with me and picked it out when I was looking at it online. It’s stamped with Josh’s approval.
Context: We were in the midst of our usual conversations.
Josh: Do you think our kids would get bullied?
Sha: Hm… possibly. Especially if we are raising them to be kind… Do you think they would?
Josh: I think so. I’d rather they get bullied than bully though.
Sha: I agree. But it’s okay. Our kids would be smart and cute. And we will support them no matter what, right? So, if they get bullied… we’ll just figure it out. What’s the bully gonna say anyway?
Josh: Yeah, you’re right, I do agree with you. They might get bullied for their names though.
Sha: WHAT?? But… but their names are cool, no? And besides, our kid’s going to be able to spell like “soliloquies” or some big word by four.
Josh sarcastically: Right, right. Bully comes up to them and says, “Hey your name sounds dumb, and your parents don’t love you!” or something stupid like that. And our kid says, “Do you know how to spell ‘soliloquies’? Our kid’s screwed, babe. He’s gonna get punched before he can even begin spelling.
Sha laughing really hard: That’s true, it sounds funny now that I’m hearing it back. Maybe we’ll teach them good comebacks? Or we can teach them how to punch?
Josh: Yeah, we will. We will have to.
I realize how pompous we sound. Not that we think we more brilliant or good-looking than others, but every parent thinks their kids will turn out great, right? And anyway, we believe each other to be brilliant and super good-looking, so…
Context: We were in school, and the lecturer mentions the meaning of “psychopathology” and not to confuse it with “psychopathy”.
Josh: Wait, omg.
Sha looks at Josh’s computer screen then back at him: Why, what’s wrong?
Josh starts smiling and puts his head in his hands: This is so stupid.
Sha holding back laughter: What is it? No way… don’t tell me.
Josh: I might be a dumbass. This whole time I thought “psychopathology” was “psychopathy”, like it was interchangeable. I thought it was the same thing…
At this point, we were both trying to muffle our laughter.
Sha: You’re kidding, right? Omg…
Josh: That was actually so stupid.
Context: I saw a trend online where dog owners put their hands together in front of their dogs and say, “all in”, and the dogs are supposed to put their paws on top of their owners’.
Sha: Let’s try this with the boys! But we should do it one-by-one. Get Knight to sit!
Josh and I squat down in front of Knight after Josh sits him down.
Josh: Okay, what now?
Sha places her hand, palm down, in front of Knight: Put your hand on top of mine, and we say, “all in” together. I think this won’t work. He’s not even looking at us.
Josh puts his hand on top of mine and we say, “all in”. Knight does absolutely nothing.
Josh: This is not gonna work. This dog is stupid, man.
Sha: Okay, no, don’t say that! He’s not stupid! Let’s try again we’ll do it smoothly.
Josh and I do it again. This time repeating “all in” about three times; each time getting louder. Surprisingly, Knight does it! He puts his palm on top of ours and looks at us with his tongue out.
Josh: OMG!! GOOD BOY, KNIGHT!!
Sha: Aw, Knight!! What a clever boy you are!! Let’s do it with Cadbury!!
Josh: Sure, but Cadbury is not going to get it.
Sha: Noooo, you never know. He’s so cute he’ll surprise you.
We did the same thing with Cadbury. He did not surprise Josh. He stared at our hands and back at us, doing nothing even after multiple attempts.
Josh: I told you he wasn’t going to do it.
Sha petting Cadbury: It’s okay… I think he’s just good at being cute! He’s such a good boy. Say he’s a good boy or he might get sad.
Josh petting Cadbury on the head: You’re not a good boy! You hear that? NOT a good boy!
Sha: Hey! That’s so mean, don’t say that! (Turns to Cadbury to say, “You’re a very good boy. Don’t listen to him!”)
Josh: You’re so biased. You spoil him!
As I write these memories in detail, I feel like I’m being transported back to those moments with you. There was never a dull moment when we were together. I miss our endless laughter and our ability to turn even the most mundane situations into something fun. Today is one of those days where I miss you more than usual and wish I could see you or hear your voice.
I wonder what our first conversation will be when we see each other again. Can’t wait. I love you more, always, and forever.
Love always,
Sha
(Attached another fun “conversation” we had… We were studying forensic psychology at that time… which explains the contents of our “discussion”. I don’t even know how this began.)
I Swear You Will Be Fine 
Leave a comment