I Swear You Will Be Fine

I was telling Shalini the other day, that no matter how much we try, I am afraid we will forget some things about you. And so, I want to record everything I remember about you.

I think when you were about 5 or 6 years old, we did a visit to a Metro/ Robnison’s sale at the Expo. Ammamma, you and I went along. I can’t remember if Jess was there. I think not. Anyway, as soon as we got there, you, as usual, wanted to be in the toys section. So I took you there. Ben 10 may have been the favourite at the time. So you were happily playing with the toys and identifying the ones you would potentially want to buy.

Ammamma and I wanted to look at the other parts of the sale. So I told you to stay at the toys section, and I would be back in a short while. And not to move anywhere else. You were more than happy to do this. And you clearly understood the instructions. So Ammamma and I moved away to see the other things on sale. It wasn’t too far away from you, perhaps within 30 to 40 metres. But not within eye vision. Yes, yes, bad mother….

After just a few minutes, I heard a PA announcement. “Will the Mother of the little boy Joshua please come to the security stand?”. I looked at Ammamma. Our Joshua? I panicked and ran looking for the security stand.

We eventually found the place, and in the far corner, you were sitting on a chair, happily swinging your legs. With the cheekiest grin on your face. “What happened?”, I asked you. And you said something like, “I thought you were lost.” But it was clear you were not scared in the least. I think you were just bored and decided to look for us this way….but who knows.

This was just one of many super cheeky things you did as a child. Perhaps expectant of the child born in the year of the monkey! In fact, I think this “lost and found” sequence happened a couple more times.

But all this changed so, so rapidly in 2015. It is hard to remember the normalcy and the happiness of your childhood. And how dramatically it turned as you went into your teens.

I guess we must take comfort that there was some level of happiness in your life. But more comfort that you are completely happy now.

Love you and miss you so much my darling,

Mum