I Swear You Will Be Fine

I was telling Shalini and Lynn this story over dinner 2 days ago. We were talking about the state of affairs in the US right now. And I recalled our trip there when you were just 9 years old. Feels like a lifetime ago, and at the same time, feels like just yesterday.

It was a fairly complex trip. We flew from Singapore to San Francisco. The flight was delayed from Singapore and we landed in San Francisco at 1am. We were all exhausted. The queue at immigration was super long. But the officers made no attempt to speed things up. When it was our turn, there were some of the usual questions. I didn’t think they would be too concerned with a family of 4 with 2 young kids. But a small error on Dad’s part while answering a question ended up with a much lengthier interrogation. The officer had asked where we were going next. Jess, you and I answered Orlando, but Dad answered Colorado. And that set the officer off. The number of questions and type of questions that followed were ridiculous.

We then flew from San Francisco to Orlando and then to New York. The return flight to Singapore was out of New York. I was even more apprehensive at the airport because of our experience in San Francisco. We managed to get through all the necessary steps with you and Jess in tow. And then came to the final step before boarding the plane, which was the security clearance. As we queued up awaiting the security officer’s potential bombardment of questions, I was again anxious. The officer looked at all our passports. But he only asked one question. And that question was to you. He looked straight at you and asked, “Are these your parents?”. And you….with an even straighter face…..looked at him and said, “No”. I was horrified. You only had a hint of a smile on your face. But the officer could see through you. He also kept a straight face and said to you, “ok young man, we better let them get on the plane, and you can stay with me”. You quickly changed your story. And corrected your previous statement. “No, no, no!”. Everyone had a good laugh. You were really a cheeky one.

How life would do a somersault on us just 12 months later. I look back on that trip and remember it as being close to perfect. Perhaps a few idiosyncrasies from Dad on a few days. But otherwise, it was a lovely trip. There were no concerns of taking a long flight, no concerns of being in crowded areas, no concerns of you having mood swings. There were even a few days when you hung out with Dad alone while Jess and I went shopping at the outlets. So hard to believe it would all disintegrate within months.

Now without the BPD, I can imagine you being super cheeky again. I often wonder what you did at the gates of heaven. Were you cheeky with the officer there? Did you say, “No, I’m going back”? Or were you serious about the whole thing? Is it like the US immigration? With a 100 questions? And did you have to answer them all? I wonder.

Anyway, a story about your cuteness that I will always remember. But one I wanted to pen down too.

Also, Caddy just did a big fart while lying next to me and looked at me sheepishly. “Mum!”, I can hear you say.

Love you darling,

Mum