I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

Today, I’m writing about having a new perspective – not just a new perspective for me though, I’m offering a new perspective! I was thinking about this new perspective a while back and I suppose it just naturally started to develop – kind of like putting on a new pair of glasses. I see things very differently. And as I share my opinions about life in the Pawdcast, I also realize that I start to think a little more philosophically than before. I don’t know if my writing of this will benefit anyone or actually trigger someone else to ponder the perspective they currently have, but it’s on my mind, so I thought there’s no harm in writing it out. At least I know you’re reading this (or listening to me mumble as I write this). And again, I am not faulting anyone in any way for thinking or feeling anything – I feel the need to clarify this, just in case I am accidentally accusatory.

People often complain about things they forget to cherish. That sounds like a blatant statement, right? Like, duh. People forget to cherish something which leads to complaints – makes sense, and is exactly my point. I’ve seen loads of people complain about anything and everything – which is fine! I complain too. Everyone does. Complaining is almost innate. I even think I might complain more than the average person. I’ve been thinking about all the complaints I’ve heard, even from years back. Back when I heard these complaints, I agreed with the complainer that their life sounds tough and awful. Now, I very much disagree – not because I feel that my life is worse, but because I’ve unknowingly adopted a new perspective to these situations.

I’ll give you an example. I think context might be important here to drive my point home. I have a friend who would complain about her four-year-old daughter. Every time I saw her, she’d complain that her daughter is making her feel so exhausted in various ways. She’d say her kid takes too long to wake up in the mornings for school, throws a bunch of tantrums for no reason, takes forever to finish her breakfast in the mornings, cries easily, etc. Back then, I thought about these things and agreed with her that that indeed sounds like a struggle. But now, with my “new perspective glasses” on, I’m thinking: How nice it’ll be to have a mini me, fighting with me every morning to avoid school. How lucky you are that you have to wait another 15 mins before leaving the house because the little one takes too long to finish her packet of milk. How nice it is to have to wake up extra early to make cute bento sets for your child knowing that she might not even finish the whole thing. How nice, isn’t it? To get to have all these struggles. In the future, I might be able to wake up a little later, leave the house immediately after I’m ready, and make my own food that I will finish, but I think that sounds awful.

A few letters ago, I wrote about this interracial influencer couple I follow on social media. The wife likes to “complain” that her husband rushes her to get ready when they are going out, but when she’s actually ready, he isn’t. Which I think sounds frustrating, especially if it happens repeatedly, but you know… I’d rather have that. “New perspective” glasses on, I think: How I wish I could complain that my husband (you, of course) takes too long to poop in the mornings. How I wish I could rant that you forgot to load the dishwasher, take the dogs out for a morning walk, put the toilet seat down… So many complaints I wish I could have. How interesting, huh? I wish I could complain more. The reality is, for me, no one will forget to put the toilet seat down because I’m the only one using the bathroom. I won’t get to blame anyone for not taking the dogs out, because I’m the only one who can do it. No one is going to rush me in the mornings and frustrate me by taking too long in the toilet. I wish I could be frustrated.

I think people forget these other perspectives. I bet some wish their lives were totally different. This could be a “grass is greener on the other side” situation, but I might disagree. This should be a “at least my loved one is alive” situation, an “at least I have someone to complain about” situation – some people aren’t that lucky, to have loved ones delay their mornings or forget to take the dogs out.

I’ve been taking on this new perspective for a while now. But it doesn’t mean that everyone else’s life is easier than mine – I am in no way saying that. It’s like what Lynn and I discussed in our Pawdcast Episode Two, and what your mum and I talked about in the car – contentment looks very different for everyone. Everyone has different definitions and standards of being content.

I’m probably not saying a lot of things that I should in order to properly communicate my point, but I’m sure you understand me completely. I never had to fully explain myself for you to get me, and all of this is for you anyway.

I love you more, always, and forever. Can’t wait to see you again. And might I add, the signs lately have been so impressive!

Love always,
Sha