Day 303 – Halloween – I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I actually wanted to write about Halloween since the beginning of the year because it’s one of my favorite memories of us, but it was too painful to write because I really, really loved what we did. It was a sad memory to think about knowing that we’ll never have anything like this again.

We wanted to dress up for Halloween last year. We took a while to come up with an idea but you were really pushing for Raven and Beast Boy. We looked up costume ideas online and you even bought hairspray. We weren’t going to go out in these costumes of course; it was just for our fun. We had also booked two tickets for Halloween Horror Nights (HHN) at USS. I don’t know why we never thought of dressing up to go for HHN, or maybe we did and forgot, but we ended up not dressing up at all. The hairspray is probably still in your room somewhere. I also suggested carving mini pumpkins. We were going to get our pumpkins together – I said it was important we chose our own pumpkin – but we also, for some reason, forgot about this. Or maybe we didn’t have enough time because it was nearing exam season.

Though we didn’t manage to dress up or carve mini pumpkins, we had a blast at HHN. It was genuinely sooooo much fun, I don’t even know where to start! I actually wanted to write a shorter letter today since the previous one was quite long, but we’ll see how it goes. I want to talk about everything so maybe Halloween will be a two-part series.

I spent the day at your place, as usual, and towards the late afternoon, we started prepping to leave the house for HHN. We wanted to reach earlier so that we could get drinks or hang around the nearby mall before heading to USS. As the stereotype goes, you took ten mintues to shower and in that same amount of time, I was still putting on make-up (the start of my routine, actually!). You were so adorably fascinated with my make-up routine and kept telling me I didn’t need make-up (how sweet). You were also rushing me even though we weren’t late – after every step of my routine, you’d say, “okay, let’s go” and every time you said that, I had to break it to you that I wasn’t done.

You’re a big planner, and I usually am too, but with you I could just relax and follow your lead. You had started planning our USS route way before the actual day, and suggested that we reach at about 7pm, enter and tackle the houses, before trying our luck with the rides. So, as per your plan, we arrived at the nearby mall at about 630pm and walked around to get some drinks. Right outside of the store where we purchased our drinks was a trendy new photobooth we had not tried. We have this thing where we try every photobooth that’s on our way, so we were quite excited to see this one. The style of the pictures was so cool too! I don’t think you remember this, but it was like a vintage photobooth and I really wanted pictures of us in that style. We patiently waited outside the booth but got annoyed because there was a couple inside taking too long. We waited for at least ten minutes before deciding to give up and leave. I wasn’t too upset that we had to give up the photobooth because I thought we’d have many more opportunities to take more pictures in the future. Missing that photobooth is another regret of mine.

When we got to the entrance of USS, the guards wouldn’t let us in because of our drinks. An oopsie that we should have predicted. So, you and I stood right outside USS, chugging our drinks – what should have annoyed me ended up making me laugh (another magical thing you do!). We shamelessly finished our drinks in front of the guard, walked over as if we never possessed any drinks, and he reluctantly let us in… to a horrifying amount of people. You planned everything about this night but missed out the thought of arriving later to skip the queue. It was practically FLOODED with teenagers and “gangsters” (there’s a slang to describe this genre of people, but I won’t use it here) and we looked at each other in defeat. We were mostly afraid that it would take forever for us to actually enter the park, but I think we also never really minded longer waiting times (just gave us more talking time with each other). In less than a minute, people started filling the space behind us as well and we were pushed forward. It was so crowded that we were less than inches away from the people around us. The music was loud, the air did not smell wonderful, and people were pushing and shoving. At that time, I was not worried that you’d be upset because it didn’t register in my head that such scenes disagreed with you (it was only this year, hearing stories from your family, that I really wondered how you did HHN with me). You were so calm and collected amidst the crowd. I really did not think that you had any issue with it. I recall asking you if you were okay (because I was not) and you assured me that you were fine – I don’t think you were putting on a brave face either (I can usually tell). You were, on the other hand, worried that I’d be uncomfortable with the amount of physical contact with strangers and kept checking in if I was okay. Truth be told, I was actually quite anxious because people were bumping into me all over, but it meant the world that you were holding my hand the entire time, tipping toe occasionally to see if we could squeeze in elsewhere. The discomfort didn’t last long, and we were at the front in no time, walking past people to get to the haunted houses.

Another notable part of the night was when we decided to get beers in the park right before entering the haunted houses. You insisted on paying for this, as usual, and we got two cans. We were drinking and walking around, trying to finish up before entering the houses (chugging drinks again). You finished yours with no issue and had to finish mine too because I couldn’t stomach any more beer. Even now, I can see this scene clearly: You asked me if I could finish mine and when I said I couldn’t, you said, “okay gimme”, downed the whole thing in a huge gulp, tossed the can into the bin, dragged my hand and said, “OKAY LET’S GO! LET’S GO! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?” And we entered our first house. I was not ready for it. At all.

It was traumatizing, really. I knew that everything was fake but it just got to me. You found my reactions hilarious, and said that we had to make HHN an annual tradition. I was exhausted from being in fear the whole night and jokingly told you that I’m never doing this again. Though, the next day we reminisced how fun the night was and agreed that it should be our annual event. I miss going to HHN very much.

There are so many outstanding things about this night! I have to do a part two. I think it gets more fun. It’s nice to dive into a memory… makes it feel less far away.

I can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha