I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

An article I read on The Compassionate Friends recently reminded me of something. In the article, a Mother had written about a dream she had, 3 months before she was pregnant with her child. She had seen a baby boy, with large brown eyes, smiling and staring straight at her. And a few months later, she was pregnant. 9 months later she gave birth to a baby boy with large brown eyes.

In late 2003, I was doing my housemanship at a small town public hospital. I was posted to the Emergency Department, something I did not like to do, but had no choice. There was a Lebanese family who came in with their elderly Father. I can’t remember what was wrong with him, but I was the Doctor who was assigned and then treated him. Could have been some sort of heart problem.

Hours later, the patient was seemingly better. And the family was so, so grateful. I recall the conversation I had with the patient’s son so vividly.

Patient’s son: Doctor, do you have any children?

Me: Yes I do.

Patient’s son: Do you have a boy?

Me: No, I have a little girl.

Patient’s son: I will pray to Allah to bless you with a son very soon.

I was so touched, but didn’t think much of it. Some patients and some patients’ families are just so lovely.

Little did I know that I was actually already pregnant with you.

Whatever God is out there- Allah, Jesus Christ, Buddha, or the works of the Universe- thank you for giving you to me. And thank you to that very kind patient’s son who blessed me to have you.

If only this God/ Universe had also blessed you with better health, and a longer life. But we can’t always get what we want. I have to just take this blessing for now.

And what a blessing you were, are and always will be.

Love Mum