I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I had a terrible day yesterday. Long story short, I cried at work. But I don’t think I’ll talk about that today. This blog is yours, not mine. Today I want to talk about the kind of person you are. I’ve written about this before, but the other day someone made me uncomfortable on the train and a lady tapped me on the shoulder to ask if I was okay, and that made me think of you – not just because you would have ensured that nothing like that would ever happen to me, but because you’re the type of person who would go out of your way to make sure a stranger is okay, like the lady on the train. Thank you for sending her!

I have many stories that could describe the person that you are. Isn’t that cool? You must be pretty darn amazing if I have so many stories. The one that came to mind a few days ago happened last year. We were in statistics class with two other girls, one of whom is our dear friend, L. We were tasked to do a mini presentation about something I can’t recall but I remember our slides were lemon-themed. Why? Who knows. We were talking then but more like friends than potential partners. I’d sit with you in class and we’d be giggling over something silly or making jokes the entire time. We’d also be asked to pair up a lot, which gave us opportunities to talk to each other – though again, at that time, we probably weren’t thinking like that. Anyway, the four of us walked up to the front of the class to present our lemon slides and you were standing next to L. There was a creep in class. A boy who was older than us and a little weird – he’d basically stare at girls a lot. As we were presenting, I noticed that he was creepily looking at L. I got annoyed and frowned at him, but he didn’t notice my expression. I was also not standing close enough to L to signal it to her, so I could not do much. A few seconds after I noticed, you did too and looked at me to see if I did. We were both frowning at each other for a few seconds before you swiftly moved in front of L in a way that flowed with the presentation. You did not draw attention to the situation, but managed to use your body to block hers. I think she didn’t know what was up until after class when we were talking about it in the group chat. I liked you as a friend then, but this incident made me like you more. It made me respect you too. I don’t think you know how much I respect you. What a person you are! It was only after, in the group chat, that we found out the creep turned to look at me after you blocked L. You were livid to hear that – not because we had the potential to be romantic interests, but because you couldn’t stand that another girl was left uncomfortable.

Another creep incident happened a few months after. We were already dating when this happened and the same creep (what a person, right!) was seated a few rows behind us in class. I did not know that this happened when it happened, by the way. You only told me after we got home. In the middle of class, I got up to go to the bathroom and the creep was being creepy. You turned, saw him looking, and pointed a middle finger at him. You told me he had looked visibly annoyed and turned away. When I came back, you glared at him until I sat down. Again, I was oblivious to what was happening. I could see that you looked a little angry though.

I haven’t seen the creep this year, thank goodness. Maybe you’re somehow chasing him away? There are still many creeps around though. I took a picture of one the other day and sent it to Lynn. I try to take pictures of creeps in obvious ways so they might stop being creepy. I think that’s the only thing I can do now. Can’t move you in front of me to block them, sadly…

That’s the kind of person you are – protective. You’re protective of your family, me, your friends. Best of all, you would be protective of strangers too. I’m so certain that if there was a creep making a girl uncomfortable on the train, you’d definitely find a way to help her. The world was a safer place with you in it.

I reckon there aren’t any creeps in Heaven, are there? I hope not. I hope everyone is safe and comfortable even if you are there to protect them. Actually, you could protect us from Heaven too! If you’d just send some crows to poop on the creeps, I’m sure you’d be protecting a bunch of girls.

I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve got so much to tell you, even though I’m talking to you every day. I’ve got so much to hear from you too. Please save your stories for me. Really miss your voice today, but I could somehow hear you speaking to me. That happens when I have these terrible days. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha

*I wanted to find texts from the group chat about this, but I couldn’t crop out the inappropriate jokes we made in between texts – says a lot about our humor, but I think it also says a bunch about our friendship.