I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I had the most interesting dream a few weeks ago.

I was walking out of our home and locking the door. There was an old lady walking out of the apartment in front of us. So I was looking at her and took longer locking the door. 

As I removed the key from the lock, I thought I heard some sounds coming from inside. I ignored it initially, but they grew louder. So I put my ear to the door trying to listen in better. The old lady was staring at me like I had gone mad. But I pretended like it was a common thing to do.

And then the sounds became a voice. It was a proper conversation going on. And it was your voice! How absolutely delightful! It went on for a good few minutes. It was crystal clear. And it was DEFINITELY your voice. I just couldn’t tell who you were talking to, and I don’t remember the content of the conversation. After a few minutes, it stopped. But I was ecstatic that I had been able to hear your voice for so long. I didn’t even open the door and walked away very content. And then I woke up.

When I told Shalini about this dream the next morning, she was so happy too. Thinking more about it now, I wonder if you come over to our home and talk to the dogs. Since I couldn’t hear another voice, I can only imagine this is what is going on. I’m so glad! For you, for the dogs, and for us.

As difficult as it sometimes is, coming home to an empty house, seeing your pictures and most of all, seeing your empty room- this is where I feel closest to you. It cannot be that you are out of our minds. You are on our minds all the time. And it is at home that you loved to be the most. So I guess this is where you are still visiting the most.

Keep visiting home my darling. And keep having long conversations with the dogs. There is a part that makes me wonder very strongly that they don’t miss you as much because they continue to see you and talk to you.

Love Mum