I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

Tun was asking me on our trip back from Sri Lanka if you had ever travelled Business Class. I know it’s a very pretentious thing to be concerned about, but it was one of my million regrets that you didn’t get to experience. However, as I was talking to her, I did remember your first plane trip, and that night, I thought about a few others.

Your first plane trip was when you were just 4 weeks old. And……it was actually Business Class. Too bad you can’t remember it. We didn’t pay for it of course. Dad’s company allowed for the whole family to travel to Singapore on Business Class. It was uneventful as it usually is with such a young infant. I think I was feeding you most of the trip. I don’t recall you being difficult. Jess was enjoying the flight, though she probably can’t remember it too.

When you were about a year and a half old, we flew to London for Periyammamma’s 60^th birthday I think. During the flight, you kept kicking the seat in front of me. At some stage, the passenger turned around and yelled at me to control my kids. I was so upset. I went up to the air hostess and told her there was nothing much I could do and started crying. She was so kind and said, “if he wants to have the comfort of not being disturbed by kids, he can pay for a Business Class seat!”. With that, I got confident and didn’t bother with him, though I did try to stop you from kicking the seat.

And then, when you were about 2 ½ years, and we were travelling back from Mama’s wedding in Australia, the journey was very turbulent as we departed, and the seat-belt sign stayed on for ages. You were so naughty. You kept wriggling and insisting on getting out of your seat. I just couldn’t control you, even though Dad was travelling with us too. You were also recovering from a cold. And so, I did a very naughty thing. I gave you cough syrup, possibly a little more than what you should have been given. The result of which was that you slept throughout the 7 hours, and I even got to watch a movie. “Mum!”, I can hear you say….

As you got older, somehow, you were fine travelling, even on very long flights. You would hardly move and just sleep upright. Often when I was travelling with you, I would sometimes lean my head on your shoulder, and you wouldn’t complain. Sometimes you would even put your head against mine.

As Shalini said, when she flies, she feels closer to you. I too look out of the window when we are high in the skies and wonder how much closer we are to you.

Missing you more with every day that passes.

Love Mum