I Swear You Will Be Fine

This is possibly the one of the silliest letters I’ll ever write to you, but I know you remember how much we used to laugh whenever I’d randomly bring up questions like this. It’s a very girlfriend thing to do… and I’m a little embarrassed to be writing it, but I can’t help remembering how I used to ask you the most random, illogical questions. I’d turn to you and say, “Can I ask you something?” and you’d immediately know that it was going to be a silly. Your response would always be, “Are you going to ask me one of your ‘girlfriend questions’?” and we’d both be holding back our laughter – though honestly, most of the time we’d just burst out laughing because we both knew I was about to say the dumbest thing.

I’ve asked you so many silly things, like “If I died and you got remarried, would you want to be buried next to me or your second wife?” Total trap question (don’t worry, Josh 100% enjoyed these questions. Sometimes he’d ask me too). Because if you said you’d want to be buried next to me, I’d ask you why you’d even remarry in the first place. And if you had picked your second wife… well, I don’t have to explain where that would go. But somehow, no matter how ridiculous the question, you always had the perfect answer. I could never catch you in a trap, and maybe that’s what encouraged me to keep asking – you always pleasantly surprised me. Your answers were clever, thoughtful, and so you. To the second-wife question, you simply said, “I wouldn’t even remarry.” And I was silenced. There was no possible comeback for that one. You answered it so naturally and effortlessly that I was just stunned.

But… there was one question you answered semi-wrong. I asked if you’d still love me if I was a worm (I know it’s ridiculous, but so fun to ask). And without missing a beat, you said, “No, because you’re a worm. How would I know that worm is you? Honestly, I’d probably see you and step on you.” I was mortified, jaw dropped – and you were laughing so hard because you knew you got me. That kicked off a whole debate, with both of us “arguing” in between fits of laughter. My point was that if you truly loved me, you’d recognize me, even as a worm. And your point was that if I was a worm, you’d accidentally-purposely crush me. In the end, we agreed (mutually, of course) that you’d still love me as a worm and keep me in your pocket. Winning point goes to Sha for that one!

As silly as this all sounds, sometimes I do wonder if you still love me. I mean, I know I love you – but how do I know if you still love me too? When I start to think like that, I can’t hear you reassure me while boisterously laughing. So, I then remind myself: you never questioned my love for you, so how could I ever question your love for me? And that brings me to the conclusion: I know you love me, because our love is strong enough to transcend the boundaries between Heaven and Earth. After all, I believe Heaven is too small to fit a love like ours.

So, I’ll keep you in my pocket, the way you would have kept me in yours if I was a worm. I guess that gives you the winning point for this one, so we’re tied now. I can’t wait to start asking you silly questions again and to hear your laughter echo through the house. Remember, I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha