I Swear You Will Be Fine

Lately, i’ve been thinking back about the moment i saw sha again after she returned from japan. I realise that it was probably the first time i felt the absence of our trio – hard. we recently talked about how sha and i met to a friend of mine who is helping us out with the pawdcast, and darling sha just briefly said that you invited her to sit with us.

But it has always been so much more than that.

When i saw sha in the cafe we agreed to meet at, it was the first time i’m seeing her again with you next to her, without us having our serious and nonsensical chatters, without us and our endless jokes about appropriate/inappropriate things, without me looking at the both of you and feeling how right this all is.

I remember us just embracing and crying in the cafe – and feeling the absence of you. i remember how she said how some people could not understand the immense pain and loss that she’s feeling, and for days and months to come – trying to explain to others the depth of love you both have for each other. But it was easy for me to know – knowing the both of you, i know exactly what she’s saying when she said you are the only one for her and her for you.

When i recounted to my friend about how we became a trio, i added details to sha’s very modest introduction. I said i thought wow what a pretty/cute girl, and in my head thinking, “well done, josh” *pound it*. after that, you were always together, and honestly, most of our conversations if not all are just with the both of you. i really didn’t have too many conversations thereafter with just either one of you – and that didn’t matter cos i know you (plural you) and that’s all that matters. I know that if i asked you for an opinion or thought, even if you had differing opinions, you would come back with the most thoughtful and sweetest reply. I know that if i made a joke with you, you would appreciate it and make a big show of it too. so when i say i miss you and love you, it’s always gonna be a plural you.

I know that you would agree too.

love,

Lynnda