I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

Retail therapy has been quite helpful so far. Don’t worry, I’m not spending money on anything expensive. And to be fair, I’m not buying many things either. It just lifts my mood a little to anticipate the arrival of things I buy. I imagine that’s what it’s like for you too.

You never really bought many things when we started dating though. I think you like shopping though, especially for clothes and autographs. I can vividly recall looking over at your computer during lectures and you’d either be playing Subway Surfers, shopping for clothes and asking for my opinion, or scrolling for autographs to buy. You never actually bought a lot of clothes or autographs. I think it was just nice to look at. Maybe it was a distraction for you. Now I’m doing the same (except, for me, it’s mostly clothes and cute things).

You became quite thrifty (kind of) actually. I wouldn’t see you actively spending money the way your family describes you would when you were younger. You’d also talk about the way you spent money with some displeasure. You are aware that it was not a great habit – buying expensive autographs and those figurines you have displayed all over your house (I can’t recall what it’s called…is it Popmart figurines? I might have girlfriend memory…). You even talked about selling them, but I convinced you to drop that idea because I was in fact quite impressed with your collection. And I also knew that it made you happy at one point in your life so it must be worth keeping.

I’m really glad we get along so well and have similar interests. Apart from our interest in studying and psychology, we like similar genres of movies, enjoy staying home more than going out, have similar humour… I was talking to Lynn recently about how I had been quite sad that I never found a girl best friend. I was envious of girls who have a girl best friend who they can tell anything to. I was thinking about how many people I have in my life who I can speak freely to and talk about everything with, and I realized that it’s just you. I know you’re not my girl best friend per se and I can’t exactly rave about make up and clothes with you, but you do listen when I excitedly show you my shopping hauls. You do get excited for me when I buy things that intrigue me. You do answer relatively honestly when I ask for your opinion on my outfit. I love that you show interest and enthusiasm for the things I like even if you might not fully understand it. It’s very supportive and a huge green flag. I think you’re actually my best friend. I am so grateful for finding a partner and a best friend in you. I know that’s what a relationship should be. People always say you should marry your best friend, but I’m also aware it doesn’t happen as much as it should. So, I’m really grateful I found you.

I haven’t bought anything unnecessary this month (Are you proud of me!). Though I am also aware it’s only been three days into February. I’ve decided that if I spend less this month, I’ll reward myself with something unnecessary at the end of the month. We’ll see how that goes. It’s something small to keep me going.

Keep sending signs, okay? I can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha