Dear Josh,
Whenever bad things happen, I get the urge to say, “Today is such a bad day!” But that’s very binary thinking, to think that the whole day is ruined just because one thing was bad. So instead, I try to tell myself that the bad thing is just a bad moment and not a bad day. I try to also reflect at the end of the day and think of some good moments to “make up” for the bad ones. I try, at least. Oh, but today… Gosh, today I had to mumble to myself, “just a bad moment…” way too many times.
Bright and early in the morning, I get an email from our school telling me that we’re graduating from our Honours year on October 24th – when I’ll still be in London with your family. Your sister’s graduation is on the 21st, and I had intended to be in London from the 11th to the 27th. I was actually quite excited for the trip too. I’ve never been to London and certainly not with your family. Anyway, this made me really annoyed for multiple reasons. Firstly, our graduation was supposed to be early next year, not this year. Though I should be excited to graduate early, it was not according to plan and now I had to change my flight (costed me $200, by the way). So, not only is my trip cut short, I also lost $200 changing my flight. The cherry on top, however, was the fact that I still have to pay for another semester of school – school I won’t be attending because I have graduated – just because it’s part of the school system. I’m underexplaining it, but the only reason I get to graduate early was because I completed my subjects early. But even then, it was supposed to be a blank semester and graduation was still supposed to be in 2027. The school just decided to push it forward this year, and it happened to cut my trip short. Unlucky me, right?
So instead of landing in Singapore on the 27th, I’ll be leaving London on the 22nd, landing on the 23rd, and attending my own graduation on the 24th. As I won’t be in Singapore to collect my own graduation gown and make whatever little arrangements necessary, I’ve asked my parents to do it for me. I have a tiny feeling they won’t be too happy about that. Oh, did I also mention L won’t be attending graduation? I’ll be attending our graduation ceremony alone.
After this whole ordeal at 10am in the morning, I decided I needed some food. I often forget to eat, especially on days where we have school, so eating today was to reward myself for the morning struggle. I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of milk. And… the milk was spoilt! I can still remember the taste of what felt like acid in my mouth as I ran to spit it out. I thought I was going to puke. The funny part of this is, the milk’s expiration date was on the 24th June. Today’s the 17th. No reason why it should be spoilt, but it was, and I drank it. At this point, I was still telling myself, “Okay, no biggie. Just two bad moments.”
Less than thirty minutes later, I take out my beloved purple claw clip – the one with your name on it that matches your sister and L – from my hair and it snaps. Did not drop it, did not see it coming either. I couldn’t bear to throw it away, even though I bought it, so it’s just sitting on my desk. Again, no reason why it should break, but it did. All of this happened before 12pm, by the way. I still had school at 3pm.
In the bus on my way to school, I see this guy who looks vaguely familiar but I couldn’t recognize him from anywhere or remember his name. It clicked in my head after I sat down – he is a friend of my friend who passed on in January of 2024. I didn’t say hi to him and I’m no longer close to that group of friends, but he gave me a look of awkward recognition and a forced smile as he exited the bus a while later. This isn’t really a bad moment, but it made me think of my friend who passed and the night I found out, so it wasn’t great either.
You’d think that was enough for one day, but trust me, there’s more. I walked to the back gate of our school and tapped in to open the gate as usual. Since the school changed the attendance system, I’ve not had any issue using my phone to enter the premises. Of course I had to have issues today. I tried tapping in multiple times but the connection was apparently failing. I had to stand outside the gate, with my hands full of things, waiting for someone to save me. Thankfully, a group of guys walked over soon enough and I was finally able to enter school.
The rest of the day was relatively manageable. It rained as I left school, but after the morning/early afternoon I had, I didn’t mind a little rain. I went for a Spin class with my friends and had a good dinner. Oh, I also have a small cut on my lips for some reason and it stings. Add that to the list of bad moments.
Surprisingly, I’m not that bothered by today. I mean, it was a bunch of bad moments and inconveniences that I could have done without and I have had smoother days (of course), but I think I am weirdly regulated today. Telling myself, “it’s a bad moment, not a bad day” actually works.
By the way, I truly believe I can try my best in everything and still be unlucky. The other day, I found hair in my food again. I was telling your family it’s either everyone else is ingesting hair unknowingly and I’ve got amazing eyesight, or there really is hair in my food all the time. I’m thinking it’s the latter.
I can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.
Love always,
Sha
I Swear You Will Be Fine 
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