I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I tried not to listen to much during my brother’s therapy session where we were all invited in but I listened anyway. At one point, his therapist said something that sparked a thought. She said, “Things like time management and doing well at school are what we call “Luxury Problems”. They are the problems that mean we have moved past worrying about surviving.” I think that was the only thing that was said in the whole session that I actually want to remember. My instant thought was that I could use that mindset to put things into perspective for my future clients. After a few days, that thought still remained with me and it got me thinking about my own “Luxury Problems”.

Grief has taken a lot out of me. I am exhausted from life. If you recall, I recently wrote about understanding that joy and grief can coexist. At first, I wouldn’t let joy touch me. I believed that my grief had to remain louder than my happiness. But now I realize that joy and grief can coexist and one does not take away the other. It made think about my own set of “Luxury Problems” because those problems meant that I am progressing in grieving. These “Luxury Problems” are concrete examples of how I have managed to keep afloat despite grief’s waves and life’s whirlpools.

My first “Luxury Problem” relates to the word “Luxury” – I keep finding the urge to shop. Shopping could be a coping mechanism for me and I could be using the dopamine hit of a novel item to fuel me, but it’s getting too much. I am fully aware that this is a first world problem and I do not actively talk about this to anyone else (well, except now, I guess) in fear of sounding arrogant and privileged, but this is a problem. I do not need this many bags, makeup, blind boxes, household products, etc. I can literally shop for anything. For the first time in my life, I do not need anything else because I have simply completed shopping! I really need to exert some self-control.

My next “Luxury Problem” is going to make me sound like a terrible person. My brother is starting to annoy me again. Back in 2025, I realized that I no longer found my brother annoying. This might be a sibling thing, but before grief, I found all of his habits thoroughly irritating – speaking rudely, laying on the couch all day, whining – everything he did was just so annoying to me. But in 2025, I stopped feeling bothered by his actions because there was so much more I was worried about. Now, I’ve been feeling that familiar annoyance again. How frustrating…?

I am pretty sure I have more “Luxury Problems” to write about. Not that I have that many, but there are a few that pop up relatively frequently. I should be happy that I have these problems, right? There are people in the world who can’t have these problems for so many reasons. It makes me wonder if you had these problems in the last days of your life on Earth. I know you had them in the last few months. I fondly remember listening to your complaints.

I can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha