I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

There was an article that showed up on my feed a few days ago. It was sad, but it actually perked me up. It has also been the centre of much discussion (and contention) in various channels and groups.

Her name is Wendy Duffy. She is a mother who lost her only son suddenly and tragically 4 years ago. 9 months after her son passed, she tried to end her life but ended up on a ventilator for 2 weeks and survived. A few days ago, she travelled to a Swiss clinic and died by euthanasia.

This is the first time I’ve heard of a “well” person being granted the request to die by assisted suicide. I guess it has happened before. I’ve seen multiple stories of patients with different types of mental health disorders being granted this. But not a relatively young and well person.

The various online grief groups I am in have had a lot to say.

One parent says that there are words for a woman who loses her husband, a child who loses her parents, therefore carrying with them an acknowledgement. “This person has suffered. Treat them accordingly”.

But there is no word for a mother who loses her child. As someone on Facebook wrote, it’s like the people who built the various languages looked at this particular grief and decided that this was beyond naming.

Wendy Duffy was physically well. She died because her son is gone. The entire world is looking at this tragic story and debating vigorously. Some have given comments that she should have turned to God. Others have said that time heals. Many have said that others who have lost their children have survived. How dare they.

Ultimately, yes, many have survived. But it is not the same as living.

As another mother who lost her son said, “she is leaving from love – love for her son, love so total that the world without him has never added up to enough”.

I support her decision 100%. And Josh, don’t worry, I have no intention of following her path. You would be very cross if you thought I was planning this.

But I do support her decision. There is no amount of comfort from religion or anything else that can help a mother who has lost her only child, in my opinion anyway. I think you will agree with me.

Love Mum