I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear brother,

I’m away with Mum right now. Which also means I’ve been told I’m stealing the quilt. It vaguely reminded me of some of the many fights we used to have.

When we were kids, we often spent the night at Ammamma and Patta’s house. Which also meant sharing a bed. Do you remember what you used to do? Because I do.

Firstly, you would want to be as close as possible. From the time you were little, it didn’t matter how far away you started when we fell asleep. I would wake up with you right next to me. I vividly remember you falling asleep first, realising how close to me you now were, and literally pushing you away. It was the type of behaviour only excusable with siblings.

Secondly, I remember you kicking. Especially when you were little. You had this weird thing of kicking in your sleep. But you also had this weird habit of talking in your sleep (as do I LOL). I swear on my life, when we were teenagers and had to stay in Mum’s room because of Dad, you were totally zonked out, even when you sat up to say ‘DANNY DEVITO’. God knows what was happening in your dreams to justify that.

When you visited me in London by yourself, you were the first person I had to share my room with in my first house. You fell asleep first – as always when we bunked together. But you hadn’t had your adenoids removed yet. So even though you weren’t snoring (this time), you were breathing. Very heavily. I know it may sound ridiculous, but it actually drove me nuts LOL.

The weeks and years before you passed, we would constantly listen at your door to make sure we could hear some proof that you were ok. It was right next to me in London. I very, very much took it for granted.

I don’t remember you stealing the quilt from me. Mum does.

Love you very, very much,
Jess