I Swear You Will Be Fine

hiya josh,

yesterday we did our recording for our next pawdcast from your bedroom floor again, and i think we started this just a couple of episodes back. we spoke about holding grief within life and how we can better integrate different (seemingly conflicting) emotions together in one space i.e. ourselves. so that got me thinking about difference spaces – metaphorical or metaphorical.

firstly, in my last post, i spoke about how my friends allow me space to hold you constant in our endeavours together. that is lovely and also very kind of them allow shared spaces in our lives for what matters to me. i think it’s easy to take for granted the little things – on the contrary, it speaks magnitudes of others when they allow for space for others around them to grieve, to remember, to experience and to hold when it doesn’t actually affect them. so to be allowed this space in a moment of acknowledgement fills me with immense love and gratitude for my friends and family who allow this.

secondly, physical spaces – we tried doing a video while recording yesterday and while it feels natural for us to do what we’ve been doing for a while, i wonder what others will see/feel when they share this space with us. i hope they too can get to know you a bit better as we share your physical space with them as we had the privilege to.

thirdly, we talked about how grief fills the space in our hearts. sha spoke of a great analogy about the box (no spoilers, go listen), and it talks about expanding space to hold more than just grief. grief itself holds more than just sadness, in this space called grief, i think more than just loss, sadness, pain, regret and others, there is so much love in there. so i’d like to think that within the space called grief , more of it belongs to love, longing, memories and affection. our work in this is to continue to expand not only the space that is life, but also allowing grief to stay with everything it holds in its space.

lastly, space for others. yesterday night i spoke to a good friend who lives almost 10,000 miles away from me, but over the years, we managed to keep our friendship going because of how we hold space for each other. we don’t usually chat on the phone just cause of time differences and such, but i called him yesterday when he said someone he respected and left an impact on his life had passed from cancer. she was a beautiful, strong lady who took him under her wings when he was waiting tables ( he was such a baby then! ) and we talked about how life seems so unfair when we are always losing the good ones sooner than we should. and even as my intention was to offer him space to remember her, to grieve, to be sad, bro (as usual) turned it around for me and called me out about leaving space to take care of myself. we spoke more about things we’ve noticed lately, changes we see in each other, how we can do better. at the end of it, i just remember feeling that – holding space for others doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own space (mental/emotional), the people worthy of your space will not demand that you do. so space for others + self is possible.

i hope those who are reading this – whether you are expanding your space, holding it for others, or just being in it – be kinder to yourself; there’s no one way about it and we’re all learning how to hold space.

“lynnda” space cadet