I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

We were a bit late in starting our cupcake deliveries. Jess and Shalini had worked out all the fastest routes, but because we started late and also had to meet some timings of some of our friends, the routes had to be altered at the last minute.

One of the first homes we visited was an old classmate of mine. She was not at home, but her parents came out and were excited to see me. Her mother has a bit of dementia. She could remember me and said lovely things, but she didn’t remember your passing. “Your children must be all big and grown up”, she said. “Yes” I said meekly, and hurried off.

I drove, Jess delivered to her friends and mine, Shalini to hers.

We were trying to complete the task as quickly as possible despite being hungry and exhausted. At some point, Shalini was fading. We were worried she was going to faint. That would not have gone down well with you…so we stopped at a McDonald’s for a late but quick lunch break. I guess you wanted us to have your favourite meal. There was a kids’ birthday party going on with multiple children carrying large balloon animals. One of them “accidentally” kept hitting Shalini with it. As we were exiting, her balloon animal hit my face. Jess was keen to say something to the parent “politely”, but we held her back. As we walked to the car park and waited for the elevator, this child was standing in front of us with her father. And then suddenly, her balloon popped. “Josh” we all said. Though I did feel sorry for her.

The last home we delivered the cupakes to was one of Jess’s primary school classmates. They were super close in school but had not quite kept in touch since. Jess came back to the car with eyes full of tears. “It’s all so unfair”, she said. Her friend had lost her mother just a few years ago. She is one of the nicest people we know. But grief doesn’t choose, does it?

So that was the end of our cupcake delivery. The main mission was to occupy the day, and this was accomplished. We made and delivered more than 250 cupcakes. There is another big order coming up in a couple of weeks. We frequently spoke of how we were promoting some of the most decadent, and hence unhealthy foods, and you would not approve. But somehow, I felt you were with us on the journey, and you did approve.

Love Mum