I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I read this line a while ago and wanted to write a post about it. “Things didn’t happen the way you wanted it to because you would have hated if it did.” I might not be quoting to a tee because I couldn’t find the quote’s exact source anymore, but I’m pretty sure I got it right because this quote lingered in my mind for a long time.

I think the quote was meant to soothe people who might not have gotten what they wanted in life – you didn’t get it because you wouldn’t have liked it. It appeals to the notion that someone or something – depending on personal beliefs – out there watches out for us, and missing what we wanted is actually a good thing. I like the idea of a silver lining. It’s very positive and in certain situations, this kind of positivity helps.

However, this quote made me feel angry and annoyed. What do you mean the world didn’t give me what I wanted because I would have hated it? The world took away my boyfriend because I would have hated a happy life with him? Come on! I got so annoyed because I couldn’t see how I could have hated having you on Earth. Or how your family could have possibly hated having you on Earth. Really?

I know the quote might not have been meant for grief, but that kind of irritated me a little more because such a quote – one about life – should be generalizable to all sorts of life-relating situations, right? Other than perhaps missing a job opportunity or maybe breaking up with someone – the “one door closes and another opens” type of situation – I didn’t see how this quote could be used anywhere else. Try to tell any griever that they would have hated having their loved one around, I dare you. “What a stupid use of perfectly good words to string together such a stupid line” was what I thought.

I was really more annoyed than I am depicting right now. I can’t channel that anger back because that was how I felt at first. For the second half of my thoughts, you’re going to have to wait till Tuesday. Sorry for the suspense!

I think you would have agreed with me and we would have laughed at this quote. Hope you’re having a good Saturday, Josh. Although, like what your mum wrote, time might not flow similarly up there.

Can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha