Dear Josh,
This will likely sound very silly but I used to be afraid of ghosts. Actually, I’m not sure if I’ve written about this before. As I’m writing now, it sounds like something I’ve talked about. Anyway, I used to be VERY scared of ghosts and the unknown. I’m not even talking about when I was a kid. Up till you passed, I felt like I could sense when something was not right with a room or when I don’t feel alone even though I am.
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but days before you passed I made you call me while I took a shower because I was convinced that my hotel bathroom in Japan had a presence apart from my own. I couldn’t shake the feeling off and though you made fun of me, like a good boyfriend, you answered the phone every time I called and played music or your games while I had my phone in the corner of the bathroom.
After you passed, I knew that there would be nothing to fear anymore because if there was anything or anyone, it’d be you. Instead of walking into an empty room or an old looking bathroom and feeling fear, I now think, “Okay Josh, weird-looking place but keep me company.” I guess this is another thing you helped me with because I have not feared a place since you passed. I fully believe that you will not let anything “off” come near me. It has helped put my mind at ease!
Today as I was showering in the bathroom in our Airbnb in London, the light started flickering. At first I thought there was something wrong with my vision or light somehow reflected off of something and made it look like a flicker, but no. It kept happening periodically. I can’t figure out which light (there are four), but it was clearly flickering! Even when I briefly turned on the lights to get my stuff, it flickered. I’ll take that as a sign that you’re here and approve of our travel plans!
Thank you for still making me feel safe and less alone. I didn’t mention anything yet, but the silence of my room in the night made me feel quite lonely. It helps to know that you’re here. Can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.
Love always,
Sha
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