I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I’ve been procrastinating a little this week which is out of character for me. My behavior kind of irks me, but I think I’ve just been exhausted so I’m trying to give myself some leeway. I am still getting work done though, just at a slower pace than usual. I’m watching a new sitcom called “Abbott Elementary” and it’s so cute. I only started it because I was looking for a mealtime show. I used to watch sitcoms a lot more than dramas but stopped after I couldn’t find a good one. This one is great! It reminds me of being a teacher and it’s quite funny. There’s a couple on the show – Janine and Gregory – and every sweet scene they have makes me kick my legs with joy. They remind me of us quite a bit. Gregory is sweet to Janine – taking up two jobs so that he can earn enough for the relationship – and Janine is very understanding of Gregory’s quirks (and vice versa).

Gregory is a very picky eater and has an issue with food touching each other and a mix of textures. He also eats the same thing every day, goes to the gym, and doesn’t understand why people enjoy food. That reminded me of you and one of our first few conversations. This conversation happened over Instagram message – you didn’t even ask for my phone number back then – so we know this was wayyyyy before we started dating. If I recall right, I think I asked you if you liked sushi because I just had sushi with my friends. That triggered the whole conversation about food. You told me the story of how your grandma tried to feed you sushi when you were a child and you spat it out and refused to have another bite. You then explained that you hate food touching each other and you eat the same thing every day.

I’ll be honest, I was a bit concerned when I learnt of this because I like food. I mean, I’m picky too, but I like going out for food and there are several places I would have liked to frequently patronize with you. This food conversation continued on our first date. You elaborated on the foods you would eat for lunch and dinner – and how they are the exact same every single day – and I was trying my best to understand this quirk of yours. I was really worried we wouldn’t get along or that this would affect us in the future, but honestly once I saw it for myself… I was like, “oh cool!” Turns out, I like staying at home and eating the same thing every day too.

That was a funny conversation we had as well. We were dating then and I had been over to your place a few times already. I’d spend the whole day at your place and the first few times I came over, I didn’t eat anything (by choice; I was shy). Your mum seemed to have gotten concerned and told you that you had to give me food. We settled on instant noodles – because you asked me what I liked to eat and that came to mind – but after a few days of instant noodles for dinner, we both decided it was too unhealthy. So, one afternoon, you turned to me and asked me what’s something I could eat every day. I thought this was one of those hypotheticals we always talk about, so I casually said “pasta”. And that’s how I started eating healthy pasta prepped by your family every day. Gradually, the menu expanded to lasagna, wraps, etc – all healthy – and I got used to it.

You also asked me what drink I would like. See, when I answered this question, I was under the impression that your entire family was insanely healthy… so I said “sugarless green tea” to be polite. I figured that if I was to bring a drink to a healthy house, it should be a healthy drink. And that is how I started drinking sugarless green tea. When I told your family the truth about why I’m drinking sugarless green tea, everyone burst out laughing. Anyway, I like it now so don’t worry. I won’t be introducing normal green tea any time soon. Besides, I’m still sugar-free (are you proud of me).

I can’t wait to see you again. I love you more, always, and forever.

Love always,
Sha