I Swear You Will Be Fine

hi josh,

i decided to write something because i am procrastinating lol.

well yes and no, cos reading the DSM on a sunday afternoon is actually quite high on the things that i would enjoy doing, but having to critically reflect afterwards is not.

so i thought i’d mention three things that happened over the week that made me tear up/poco cry.

I haven’t seen a good friend of my – CY – for a while. in fact, when we tried to remember when was the last time we saw each other, it was more than a year ago. contact had been sporadic too since she’s busy too with her life and we were never the type to text frequently. i had put off meeting her a couple of times last year cos i just didn’t have the energy to do so, and she very kindly allowed me to defer a few times and had not blocked me yet. we had a coconut drink at a very quaint cafe called cococean which i know you would’ve made several jokes about hence i’m bringing the name up. anyway, we met and she was like how are you, and i was like, okay are you ready for the download cos this is going to be a real loaded one. and i got as far as one sentence in before the choked up feelings surged and tears flowed before i could stop it. i honestly thought i would have no problems by now when i’m asked about what happened last year. i should do a reverse and start from dec 2025 next time if i want to share cos i didn’t get past much else for that first part of the convo. but again, CY very kindly did not make a huge fuss, asked some questions about you, and made sure i didn’t look a mess before we headed off for dinner.

the secondly kindly thing that happened was auntie C who helped us looked over what we are planning for JSGF’s bereavement support group. she took time out of her busy schedule to review our planned program, and gave her recommendations both as a friend and as a veteran psychologist. i truly appreciated her replying us and supporting our initiative. It wasn’t just her considerate replies that made me feel touched, but today, she offered to listen to me if things ever got too much when we move ahead with the group. again, she did not have to but she offered and as i read her message, the tears came again. (i swear i am not a cry baby)

and the last thing happened just about 15 minutes ago. two young gentlemen working as fundraisers for a nearby tcm clinic came to our door, sharing their volunteering opportunities and of course to fundraise. the exchange led to our studies and they asked about my classmates, and i was like, yeah i only really have three close friends tbh. and they said nice things about how studying psychology is really important and how we are doing something that is going to help a lot of people. i said thank you and it was very kind of them to say all that – they really didn’t have to.

so josh, thank you for sending nice and kind folks and gestures along the way, and i’m glad i still have the opportunity to tell more people about you and what you wanted to do for more people. i hope your kindness prevails through the days to come, and that i’ll be able to pay it forward too for more people through our work with your foundations, with our studies and practice in future, and just small , kindly things every day.

“lynnda” the procrastinator