I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I recently watched this TikTok video. It was from a Mother whose son had passed by suicide. She read this poem her son had written just 14 minutes before he passed.

An Ocean of Stars by Kai James Grant

A boy finds himself standing on the edge of the world.

There’s a wide gap, but on the other side lies an ocean of stars.

He thinks to himself, the gap isn’t that far.

Freedom is just a leap away.

It can’t be that hard. 

Behind the boy stand three spirits who have followed him all the way to the edge of the world.

The first is a beautiful mermaid, glowing and kind. 

She asked the boy not to leave across the gap, as she cannot join him. She cannot leave.

“Who will I tell my stories to?”, the mermaid asks.

The boy replies, “I must go. The world is flooded. You will survive, but I will not. Do not fear. Anyone would be thrilled to hear your stories, as they are filled with adventure and joy.”

The second spirit is a gnome, mischievous and unafraid.

He says the boy should not leave, for he too, cannot join him.

His short legs won’t make the distance.

“We can get into all kinds of trouble”, the gnome suggests. 

“The kind we’ll remember until we’re old and gray”.

The boy responds, “The world does not exist for memories.”

“It may fulfill you, but not me.”

“You’ll simply have to get into enough trouble for the both of us.”

The final spirit is the boy’s guardian angel, pure and devoted.

She demands that he not leave, for she cannot follow. She must protect others too.

“You must not take the leap. I have spent my life protecting you, and I cannot protect you once you cross”, says the guardian angel.

The boy replies, “The world is not made for me. And the ocean of stars is beautiful.”

“You must prioritise the others you protect, for I’ve decided to take the leap”.

The boy looks down at the gap between the world and the stars.

He begins to tremble. He is afraid, but he has come all the way to the edge of the world, so he must go on.

He musters all his courage and all his strength in his legs. And he jumps.

The mermaid begins to weep. She will no longer tell the boys her stories.

The gnome looks down in disappointment. He has lost his partner in mischief.

The guardian angel reaches out to grab the boy. But he is already out of her reach.

With fear in his body and tears in his eyes, he floats across the gap and lands in the ocean of stars.

He turns to look for his spirits, but they are no longer there, nor is the cliff.

He sits in the ocean of stars stretching endlessly in every direction. And he slowly turns into light.

Another shining light added to the ocean of stars.

To the mermaid, the gnome and my guardian angel.

This poem touched me in so many ways. Of course, there are parallels I drew to all of us. And there should be a few more characters. 

But more importantly, it gives me a clue to your thoughts. To be free is what you always wanted. I hope it is all you wished for. This world was truly not meant for you.

Love Mum