I Swear You Will Be Fine

Dear Josh,

I’m not sure if you will be happy about this. I think you will be. In an attempt to stave off dementia and also keep myself occupied, a dear friend invited me to play (ok learn) mahjong. You know I’ve been wanting to learn this for awhile. It was very kind of her to organise this. At the last minute, the 4th person pulled out. So we were short of players.

The day before, I suddenly thought Shalini may like to join us. I asked her and she very willingly agreed. (I hope you’re not scolding me for bothering your girlfriend so much). I didn’t think of anything to be worried about, and was looking forward to the event.

We got there and started playing/ learning for a little bit with Aunty J and her son. And then Aunty J’s friend arrived. I knew she would be coming, but for some reason I didn’t think she would wonder who we were or ask questions. I should have asked Aunty J to warn her.

Anyway, we started playing. At some point very early on, she looked at Shalini and said, “you can pass this to your Mum”. And my heart dropped. “Uh, oh”. Should I be correcting this? Later when I dissected the situation with Shalini, she did say it was said very, very softly. So it was also ok not to correct it. From then on, I was constantly worried she would start asking me questions. This person could potentially belong to the group of people I would see again. So I couldn’t exactly lie and say, “yes, I have a son and daughter. My son is studying psychology”. Also, Aunty J knows everything. Anyway, she didn’t ask any questions. And the rest of the mahjong session went very well. I think I almost kept up!

Another friend once told me, I had to stop thinking of Shalini as a “daughter-in-law”, and more of as a daughter. I’m glad that was said to me. It’s another situation that must slowly evolve. I think you will also give us your blessings as time goes on. I asked Shalini if I should introduce her as my God-daughter. As always, she is fine with everything I propose.

I almost wonder if this little “slip” is something you planned. Are you giving us hints to do this? I don’t know. Most importantly, we are so blessed to have Shalini in our lives- whether she is thought of as your girlfriend, a daughter-in-law, a god-daughter or a daughter.

Love Mum