Dear Josh,
I read a post recently on the TCF about grief and joy.
Yesterday was a heavy day. There was a lot of anticipation in the air, together with heaviness. You would not have been happy with me in the morning. I dragged Shalini to get breakfast from Gail’s and coffee from Blank Street. It was raining heavily and she got soaked. She was not happy!
The tears started when we tried to take some pictures at home. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, it started with Aunty K! After that, there were occasional tears, but we generally kept it together. Aunty K and Shalini were so sweet, looking after Jess and me every step of the way. As Jess walked off the stage, I heard you say to me, “she did it Mum”.
When we came out of the ceremony, Anta and the boys were waiting for us. And with that, the day was super busy and full. We could not have asked for more, despite the weather being rotten. Well, we could have asked for more. You. But as I said to Jess this morning, I don’t know if it’s the universe, or God or you, but we are so blessed to be surrounded by the nicest people who helped make this day as special as it could possibly be.
So I get it. Grief and joy can coexist. Some days, grief trumps joy. On other days, joy almost trumps grief. Every special occasions for the rest of our lives will be somewhat marred by your absence. But we will try our best to make do.
So yes Josh, she did it.
Love Mum
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